The man I am

It is really interesting to look and try to understand how everyone understands life and what values each of us hold dear. It is especially so when I listen to fellow men talk about their understanding of relationships. I look at the many cases of men having extra marital affairs and I must admit it really excites me, and in the 23 years that I have lived on earth I’ve learnt a lot out of all these things I have been seeing

I always believe in being different and a lot of times I have promised to give my best to be the best anyone has ever had. And as I write this I tend to think I should be a bit confused, but I won’t let simple things confuse me coz I stand for what I believe in, and my world is one in which ladies are respected and not toys to be played around with.

Exactly two weeks ago, a lady came to me and told me she “liked me”. This was a farfetched one, she wasn’t one of those I interact with at all despite being a schoolmate and before that Saturday evening it had been four months since we had last seen each other. It has been hard to understand how she thought of it at this time. Anyway I didn’t want to kill her ego, I know the much it takes to walk up to someone and confess you like them. As much as the feeling wasn’t mutual I decided maybe we’d give it a try, at least for the fact that she went against social convention if not for anything else, and for a while I thought we could really work

“Shit happens” as a lot of people would say and along the way I got to meet her friends, one of whom I think I grew to like. In the meantime my friends had always asked me to “use” her, one thing I really don’t advocate for, and no matter how stupid one would like to think I am …NO!!!…not at any point will I use a girl.

And here I sit a while after telling her it’s hard for me to work it out. I know she can’t understand my logic at the moment, but I got to respect the “man I am” and the principles and values I hold dear. Would it be better if I tagged her along and on the side kept lusting for her friend? NO!!! that’s not me, I won’t allow me to fall into temptation and I prefer I lose both of them rather than keep hurting one of them, who was brave enough, gathered courage and went against what is normal (which I really admire) and spoke her mind.

I will be more at peace if I knew I am lonely because I didn’t want to make someone’s life desperate, I am lonely because I don’t want to hurt this brave lady, I will remain lonely because I don’t want to be any other man, but the me who believes in not “playing” ladies no matter how foolish I may look to others.

And as it is I am sure she’ll get over it with time, no pain lives forever, time is a healer and I am sure she will live to appreciate the fact that I didn’t waste her time. And then…I will have succeeded coz one life, will have breathed easier because I lived and lived right.    

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4 thoughts on “The man I am

  1. Ash says:

    The man u r…..lotsa questions, i probably should keep my comments to myself

  2. tabby says:

    LOL I have been looking for this post,

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