Of late my life revolves around school most of the time, the office while doing internships and at home when on holiday. In all cases I prefer my afternoons alone, maybe holed in my room or quiet on my office desk and in most if not all case listening to music. There is this feeling that always grips me that I now don’t think I really understand. Initially I used to think it was a nostalgic feeling but of late I’ve come to realise it’s caused by occurrences yet to come and not in the past an hence the thought that it could be an “impending nostalgia”
The feeling is always a heavy one in my heart and when in school I always feel that it wouldn’t be there if I was either at home around mama or in the office busy working on something. While at home I wan to be busy either working in the office or studying in school. I don’t know why at first it felt like nostalgia but I guess it’s coz while in school I’d always think of the great moments I’ve had while at home and yearn for them. the same applies for the two other settings.
For a moment I thought about it and it dawned on me that this could be a feeling of dissatisfaction. I only get this feeling because probably I am not happy with what I have and I probably want more. And it only occurs when I am alone coz when with others I’ll always have activities to distract me from that thought.
So I am dissatisfied, I don’t like it in school, without mama to take care of me, I don’t like sitting at home idle, I don’t like sitting in the office without my friends to laugh with. Yes!… what I want is a life with everything and everyone around me. All that I want at my disposal so that I choose to work with as I please. This as we all know is impossible and I realise I must fight this feeling from now henceforth. Life will never be what you want it to be. The best thing is to work with it as it comes and make the best out of it.
Life has its various stages and each has an equal share of challenges as it has happy times. At the moment I’m in college and I have to embrace that, accept the fact that mama won’t be around all the time and as it is there might never be any other time that I’d sit around her and wait for food on the table.
I will take life as it is, appreciated the much that God has given me and make the best out of it. I will accept every stage like a rally driver does each terrain and make the best out of each. I know I will make the best out of the few months I have left in campus, I will use to the best I know how those few moments I’ll get to be home and enjoy them to the maximum. I will make the best of my time in any office whether as an intern or an employee.
I know with this I will always have a smile and always give the best out of every situation thanks to “the nostalgia” which made me realise I hold my happiness in my hands. Years from now I know I will have the real nostalgia when I will miss the great moments I’ll have out of these wonderful times 🙂