Reinforcement; everyone would like to have this at some point when weak and overcome by the enemy but I believe we all would hate it when circumstances force us to reinforce a negative theory about you and one that circulates among your peers.
I have always been loud at least in class since I joined campus, and most of the time while having my few at the watering hole and most of my classmates always thought I am dumb. I am not and that I am very sure of, not in anything I’ve ever worked on maybe one I haven’t placed my hands on yet. Today I experienced an incidence that really embarrassed me and made me feel stupid in front of and among my classmates. I would really like to blame it on something or someone but before I even look for that my ol’man’s wise words on the three negative human attributes stop me. I have talked about them before; they are always complaining, negativite and apportioning blame. I will therefore put it all on me and take the blame for whatever happened to me this afternoon.
So I wake up early morning pretty sure that I was well prepared for the presentation I had later in the afternoon and as I crutched to the front of the lecture room I knew I could ace it. It wasn’t the first time I was presenting before this class and I could forgive the trembling (it has always been there, my ol’man claims I do chang’aa behind everybody’s back.). What I hated most was the stammering and the picture of unpreparedness that I portrayed. The roaring laughter bit me inside despite the “sheepish” smile I had on my face as I tried to get everything back in control. Not even my deep voice would save me this time and I wished the world would just open up and swallow me.
As the lecturer asked the class to clap for us (my group) as I crutched back to my seat, I knew it was only a matter of courtesy. This is far much the worst of all presentations I have had in the four years I have been in campus.
But Mak’Omondi as it is believes in every challenge presenting a learning opportunity and always concentrating on the positive. The negatives are only to be learnt from and let go. As I tweeted and updated my facebook status “I HATE LOOKING STUPID” it reminded me that this was laughable of me, it doesn’t kill me it only makes me stronger. Stronger is what I feel as I write this, and wiser is what I know I have grown into after that, with an ego that has been inflated to the level of bloating coz all this happens for a reason and this is just but a passing season!!!!