You all have heard of the nagging aunts who keep asking people when they will be getting married, if you haven’t heard of them then you must have been a victim. If you fall in none of the above categories then better get in touch with real life. I always thought I’d be safe from the nagging and nose poking till I get too old and still not have a wife but yeah, I must have been wrong, lately, occurrences have all so proven me wrong.
On Sunday afternoon I was busy doing nothing but basically minding my own business when my all so lovely ringtone went off. It always reminds me that I’ve got to be a fighter. It was my aunt who has been visiting at my uncle’s calling to find out why I had not gone to see them despite it being a weekend and it was very well known that my job only runs up to Friday. I mumbled a few phrases in between which lay the words church and laundry despite the fact that the only times I had left my “bed” were the times nature forced me to visit the bathroom. And oh, when I say nature I mean perspiration too, so you’d be sure I never missed my bath. Well at least I had washed my handkerchief at some point and later in the night I dreamt of me attending church, so well, my mumbles weren’t all that off.
The obedient young man I was had to get out of bed and walk to my uncle’s where I was greeted with a bashing for having entered the house speaking on phone. My phone and I have come to be known as friends within my family circles, a phenomenon that only few understand but one which has caused problems a number of times. This time it even had to be worse because I was talking with my girlfriend and getting that gadget off my ear would be a fight. You know we are the couple that still believes in the “You hang up,… no you hang up” kind of love. I’ve got to thank Shayne Ward for that phrase. Let’s get things straight here, I will use this blog time and again to reaffirm my love for my girlfriend, or as one @kandeecoated puts it, show you how whipped I am, and unashamedly at that.
Back to minding the business that got me writing this post, and little did I know that the above discussed bashing was a starter for a major bashing, Or as my sister Mercy would play it every time she felt like having homemade chips (fries) when we were young “appetizer” (she would always make fries for an appetizer which would then be followed by a meal of “ugali” and “mboga” – kids SMH!). Anyway, the major bashing was soon to come and the bashers made sure I was well seated at the dining table enjoying milk tea and buttered , well maybe we’d call it “magarined” bread.
Let’s have a flashback and try understanding where the whole bashing thing came from. Exactly a week before yesterday my parents thought they would have a look at this Nairobi Tenant’s quarters. There having been more than enough relatives in Nairobi who could not mind their own business my parents happened to arrive flanked. As I had indicated in some post a while age “The Chronicles of a Nairobi Tenant”, my quarters are pretty interesting coz when you get in you see everything else from a birds’ view point of view (twisted I know). After this visit word reached my uncle, who I think is the best person at minding his own business that there was a young man somewhere living like a cow. This to him is the height of irresponsibility considering the young man in question has been working for close to five months and two days now. What shocked me most was my aunts involvement in the bashing despite having shown empathy when she came to my house. All through I felt misunderstood, disunderstood, illunderstood, nonunderstood and all the other negative prefixes that would come before understood.
Anyway I have learnt a lot and the greatest lesson has been that while you are busy minding your own business, aunties will never mind theirs and neither will they let you mind yours in peace. If one is not busy PMSing at you, (I still wonder whether I should work on this or just deal with my girlfriend when she causes), another one is busy strategically waiting for 31st to give you the call that never was all through the month or the other is telling people how much you can work with the “big salary” she thinks you earn to get seats for your house.
N/B: I don’t think this blog still matches it’s description and hence it is time for change, change is inevitable, and the only thing more constant than the “k” in Physics.
I’m out *does the peace sign*