When my friend started his blog, he thought his first post would be about “Ye of little faith”. Today, I sit and wonder, “I’m I one of them with little faith?”
When the year started, I told my old lady this would be a year of faith, a year that would see me not use walking sticks ever again. It isn’t easy when after covering three quarters of the year, running around in hustles and bustles that come with life’s changing phases, you suddenly develop the dreaded limp.
When the morning comes and everyone wakes up to the beautiful bird songs, yet the first thing that jostles you up is the numbness that engulfs the lower limbs, it isn’t easy. waking up in the morning and the much you can feel of your body is only up to the knee. The sight of everyone else running around town trying to keep office hours, as you snail through town changing “matatus”. Limping across streets, every once so often escaping the driver who doesn’t care about your limp.
When in the office, you are the guy known for being active, shuffling from one desk to another, trying to sort out any tech issue. When one knee confines you to your desk, yet with no guarantee that the eight hours will be painless but rather with an assurance that the folded knee will be cause more than mega pain, then you are sure you have a bonus. The only time you get off your desk is home time because the simple thought of the excruciating pain as you walk to the washrooms, kills all inside you, including that which presses.
When the evening drizzle is bound to get you drenched, as you limp through traffic, with no support because you left the walking sticks miles away in belief that they would be of no use at all, when hopping into a “matatu” home isn’t as easy a task as it always is, with people shoving around, at times subjecting you to two hours of wait at the bus stop. Then life must be offering more than the usual. When the signature “shukisha” is accompanied by a big sigh, because the “ride” in the “matatu” causes more pain than a hammer would while hitting the knee cap.
When each call in the evening, that would always give smiles only sets you battling tears, when their voices tell you how much they wish they could do something but the distances dictate otherwise. When each question asked only reminds you of the agony the joint down there causes. There would be no explanation other than life is giving an extra special treatment.
When the bed you have always loved, sets you imagining pain felt just before people walk down the streets yonder. When each night you swallow a pill, not because it will kill your pain or make you feel better but because it will shut down your systems and turn you into a log. Then life, has given you what no other person has experienced before.
When this my friends, is what yesterday was like, is what today is bound to be and maybe what tomorrow will be. You gather the strength to sit and write, to limp and brave the rain. Battle the tears and patiently sit through traffic even as pain tortures. Live in the house alone and get the company of solitude, yet still jump into bed despite not being sure how long pain and sleep will battle, and not knowing who will get to win. Despite all, I know I emerge strong because life has offered me a bonus, bonus strength, bonus faith and a bonus spirit that sees me hope that come tomorrow, no one will have to rid me of my foot just to save me of this pain.