The faces of phases

I clicked on send, I had written it, I meant not only each word in it but also each letter that made those very words. What didn’t hit me then was that it would not mean anything a few weeks in, at least not to the person it had been sent to probably some other person, that was to be seen and can’t be said up to now. That was the start of 2012.

I remember the afia incident, she wouldn’t know what to tell us, all she could play was polite, it was laughable I know, we couldn’t laugh though, we had to hold it for later. For close to 200kms we had to let sleep hold it in. Then we got to our destination and the first person we saw was her, that’s when I learnt her name, that’s when I got to know you knew her and your description of her seemed to paint her a good girl. This was to be seen. These were meant to be memories but I doubt they lasted to even be news.

Life was easy, it was the last semester, the last of the great four years and each afternoon I lay on my bed, nothing much to do but on this one I had stuff to pull my fingers through then the so unexpected call came in. maybe it was expected but the talk remains unexpected to date and for two weeks I ran, how long I wouldn’t know, probably only Wahu beats me with her 1000miles on “So Low” and each evening I stared into the deep abyss, not knowing what sunset  would bring but only holding to faith and staying hopeful.

Nights wouldn’t be easy, not for anyone in that state and though I knew alcohol had never been a solution, I perched on the barstool each evening, from Monday to Saturday at least for the company that music would bring. Then one night shocked by the presence of a stranger in the bar, music brought more than just company. I remember it was a Monday, black trousers, black shirt, blue sweater, and black shoes I quietly sipped the new Pilsner Ice, probably “Imara kama Simba” made me the lion that hunted down the gazelle and got hold of it. The first month closed with a big, wide and hopeful smile characterizing my lips.

Nothing good comes easy, that I would attest to today, and though we both showed it evidently that we walked with our feet in the air not everybody liked it. But again fights fought together always end up successful and we won this one, she had no option but to play along though she hung her head low with shame and disappointment. Our first celebration, the not so expected kiss, it remains etched in my mind to date.

Mails have a way of changing moods, they either make you happy or make you really stressed and sad, this one was what everyone sitting their last exam in a week would want and for two weeks I got out to prove myself. At the end of the third month I had it, I had it in my pockets safe and secured and as I bid school bye on the 30th of March I knew the next week would be one of the best with so much to look forward to.
It was nothing much and human nature would definitely dictate that I wouldn’t be satisfied. I woke up each morning, sat in front of that computer and got out each day at five. A number of times I got those much waited for calls but not many got to the point of the fruit ripening. I prayed and held faith in earnest. At the end of the sixth month I had grown big enough or maybe circumstances forced me to, then I joined the coveted list of Nairobi Tenants.

No much to report about the seventh, maybe just her birthday it was great I look at them to date and I think I am proud of what I got in me, I at times do not believe I could have done such a wonderful selection, I wish I had made them thin though, she says she loves them as they are but I tend to think she wishes they were different. At the end of the seventh I made that bold move, a move no one understands up to date, a move that not only saw me go to “bed” on an empty stomach but one that sent me back to crutches for a while.

The eighth must have been great end eventful, to Eldoret and back, then to the land of potatoes where it didn’t rain in water but in mist and the awesome birthday that saw me get my first birthday gift ever. I love them both and if it were not for judgment on planet earth I would alternate them day after day. I wouldn’t forget the first cake that was backed only for me and the much I had done for sixteen years.

The ninth passed with nothing to report home, if I wasn’t sick I had no psyche to get to the office but I guess it was all stored for the tenth. The tenth that came with new ambitions, new challenges, new horizons and new heights to reach, and with each passing task came a better me, a growing and more understanding me and as I sit on the last two of the twelfth all I would want to do is to make better of the unknown.

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