Yesterday, she told me she had decided to go with him. Despite the fact that we had a rosy time together. The times I walked in the dark to go get her painkillers, the lengths she walked in the dust to get me meds to relieve my back pains. The times we lazed on the bed doing nothing, talking about everything and nothing. She said I was good but still chose him. Was it because he worked at a bank while I was just a jobless boy who depended on his parents or maybe coz he lived in a one bedroom house while all I could offer was a single room and shared bathrooms?
Yesterday, she told me I was just a rebound. That I was only good enough for use as a ‘green eye catalyst’. She walked to me, I didn’t walk to her, I guess even a bouncing ball looks for the wall and not the other way round. I thought it was worth a try as much as it had never crossed my mind. But it never matters whether it crossed my mind or not, after all no one has established yet why the chicken crossed the road. Why would it matter what crosses my mind?
Yesterday, she asked me to walk out of her room and go home. She claimed that whatever I was offering is not what she had subscribed to. Yes, I walked out but not before I thought of the miles I travelled to be with her. The money I spent out of the peanuts I saved from my weekly pocket money to spend the night with her. The lies I creatively thought out and peddled to be away from home and be with her. The risks I took to make sure her needs and wants as a young girl trying to discover life were well taken care of.
Yesterday, she told me my friend was a better person. That he was a better listener, a better care taker of hearts. But who takes better care of hearts than the man who takes time to chase after a girl like social convention dictated it should be done. Who listens better than the guy who hugs her through tough moments, always carries a handkerchief to wipe off her tears, that man who goes out to seek solutions when all other men are busy running away when things are too thick for the saw to go through. The one man who cut on the time he spent with his ‘boiz’ just to be with her, coz he knew she needed someone to tell the very hard things that wouldn’t be told to every other Tom, Harry and oh, not even me would want other Dicks to hear that.
Yesterday, she told me she wants to be in other people’s company more. It doesn’t matter the wonderful times we have had, the laughs, the smiles and the fun. The mistakes a man has done cancelled all that out. The little sacrifices do not hold water anymore and the future ambitions are only a light bulb in the middle of the tunnel, not the light at the end of it.
Yesterday, is dead and gone, I live in today and live for tomorrow.