Today more than ever…

Today more than ever should have been a different day. Smiles would be wider, sleeps would be more peaceful, and minds would be more relaxed. The sun would shine brighter and the hurt would either not be there at all or would be lesser. It would be easy to figure out what tomorrow would bring and the future would be more predictable. There would be no need to second guess, we’d lay it all on the table because we’d be sure that was it. Today more than ever should have surely been a different day.

Today more than ever, I wish I met neither of you. The moments shared, the work done together. The laughs, the advice, the listening ear, the challenges were all good, but this does not cancel the betrayal felt inside. It doesn’t clear the hurt that you instill in m, either knowingly or unknowingly. It pisses more to see that you either do not want to stand in the light or keep evading it whenever it follows. Today more than ever would be a different day had life gone on without the two of you coming in.

Today more than ever I wish I never hassled that hard for you. The patience when you persistently called, the push when I felt like I was failing you. My ear was always out for any opportunity, a minion I was but I promised myself I would do all possibly within my ability and capability to ensure I didn’t disappoint you. I treated you right when you were made my responsibility, I did not want to be like any other all I wanted was to be like none other for you. All, because you meant to me more than what you thought and I always thought it could be seen. The laughs, the light talks even when our relationship didn’t allow, all to make you comfortable.

Today more than ever I wish I did everything differently. I wish I never embraced, I should have kept you at arm’s length. I wish I never laughed with you, because we didn’t have to anyway. I wish I never opened up to you, because my inner self doesn’t mean a thing to you. I wish I did not say a word because all I said was carried by the wind. Most of all I wish I never went out of my way because I got pricked by thorn yet I would have had a smooth ride.

Today more than ever I want out. It has been 2+ years and this means time to move one. We have been together, through the good and bad. You taught me a lot, I contributed the much I could to your growth. Today more than ever, I feel like I have played my part and you have taught me all you could. Maybe it was time we gave some other persons to learn and contribute, some other persons to earn.

today

Today more than ever cannot be a different day. Today more than ever, I cannot cancel the fact that I met both of you. Today more than ever I cannot take back the efforts I put across to ensure you achieved what you always hoped for. Today more than ever I cannot change a thing I did for the sake of friendship. Today more than ever I have to embrace the challenges that come with this day. I have to take the positive that lies in every interaction and make the best out of it. I will learn from the negative, stand, dust and continue with the race, because today is the best day today would be.

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2 thoughts on “Today more than ever…

  1. jackierono says:

    well. this is just O! so well written David.

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